CHALLAH BITCHES!

I almost died laughing at this last night. God I love her.

We found our third dancer!

So last week before the company Christmas party, we had to run a couple errands. This included picking up Popeyes Fried Chicken... Don't ask. Apparently biscuits take like a half hour to make, so me, Dan and Bethany were forced to sit in Kim's car waiting for her to come back with the goods. Her delightful CD mix had "Spotlight" by Jennifer Hudson which was quickly turned off once I started singing along... Anyway, that fantastic "Single Ladies" song came on and we all know that I'm trying to learn the dance moves from various sources. So for the entire song, Bethany and I were in the back shaking the car with our dance moves, while trying to avoid eye contact with the homeless woman dancing along on the street. LONG story short, we totally found our third dancer!!!

Princess Unicorn!

On "The Office" tonight, Dwight took it upon himself to buy up all of the Unicorn Princess dolls, and turn them for a profit. Now where were these when I was a kid? The only Barbies that I remember having as a kid was "Hawaiian Barbie" because she came with really cool pineapple scented lip gloss. And a black barbie because she came with a cassette tape and had a fancy plastic shirt with shapes in it. Either way this whole doll was made up by the producers for the show...I think. However, there already is a hilarious website dedicated to the Unicorn Princess. I'm totally getting Bethany this for Hanukkah:

Christmas decorations and I do not get along

Here's the thing with Christmas decorations, or any decorations really. I enjoy them. They are nice to look at (assuming they're not hideously tacky ones). HOWEVER, I do not enjoy putting up decorations or taking them down. So much so, that I would rather just look at other peoples decorations rather than put up my own. And I realized why I hate putting them up (aside from the fact that its physical labor)- its because I suck at it. I spent a good 2 hours today putting up decorations at work. It was just me, heaving and huffing and climbing ladders in my Uggs to string up a few strands of Christmas lights. Meanwhile, everyone else is sitting at their desk criticizing my every attempt at making them look right.

Michael (In his nasally gay voice): "JKrack, whats with the garland? Its like you ran out of lights and there's an extra foot just sitting there. AND FYI- you look morbidly obese."

Bethany (In her high pitched south side accent): "Uhhhmm JKrack... that looks TERRIBLE. I'm glad I'm Jewish."

Brandon (In his astonishingly deep voice): "Uhh yeah, why are you putting tinsel on the ficus?"

Sierra: "Actually, if you fall- our disability is %100."

EVERYONE: "WHERE ARE OUR CANDY CANES!! GO GET CANDY CANES!"

This is why I LOVE Intervention

Sometimes I wonder why I watch so much reality TV. Actually no I don't, I know EXACTLY why I watch so much- its hilarious and sometimes disturbing. For instance, this little video below gave me, Michael and Bethany a whole week of discussions and impersonations. This season of Intervention hasn't been that great, except for this little nugget. Its actually really disturbing, but once you get past that its hilarious. And I will never look at compressed air in the same way ever again.

Starbucks is never to be trusted...

Bethany just got her wallet stolen at the Starbucks across the street! This is actually the worst Starbucks ever (although I still manage to end up there a few times a week...whatevs). Bethany was headed over there for a meeting, and Michael and I decided to tag along. It actually took us almost 20 minutes to get 2 drinks... I mean really?

So, soon after we left, Bethany felt some shenanigans going on in her coat pocket. She turned around to see some giant dude bolting out the door with her wallet! The girl Bethany was with ran after the guy and Bethany grabbed the chick that was with him. The chick (who apparently had gold teeth...) elbowed Bethany and ran off. Meanwhile, the dude had gotten into a car that was waiting for him! SNEAKY BASTARDS!

I am NEVER going there again. At least not until I have a serious caffeine craving...so probably tomorrow :(

There is a silver lining to this awful Starbucks- the lady with the mustache. She is awesome and most orders with her go as follows:

"Hi, can I please get a venti coffee?"

"GIRL, whatchu wanna mocha frappuccino?!"

"...no just a venti coffee."

"Whats that?! A mango vivano with ice??!"

"Nope. Just a venti coffee please..."

"Oooo girl I gotcha! SHEILA! Can I get a tall carmel macchiato?!"

We LOVES her.