Best Website of All Time!

Best. Website. Of. All. Time: http://kanyegate.tumblr.com/

Imma let you finish BUT

Did anyone see this?!

I. Can't. Stop.

I accidentally watched the marathon of I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here on MTV this past weekend. I got HOOKED because this one and that douche sucked me into their awful lives. This was the only video that I could find BUT its missing the best part. "They completely ripped the labels off my dry shampoo! WAAAHHHHH" The ENTIRE show she was spraying her hair and trying to market this dry shampoo. Maybe she's coming out with her own brand of dry shampoo? I have no idea. I do know, however, that I want it... Apparently now they're stuck in Costa Rica because the doctors won't clear them to leave after her gastric ulcer fiasco. It really is a terrible show. 

The awkward drama continues

So, like many people, I have been ADDICTED to the Jon & Kate Gosselin drama! I live for this shit. Who knows how I first started watching the show- its not "DVR" material but I'll watch it periodically when its on. I, unfortunately, got suckered into watching the entire marathon alll day today. And then I watched the season premiere and it was everything that I had dreamed of- a sufficiently awkward pissing match. Who loves the kids more, who is around more, blah blah. While I LOVED the fact that they were both (well more Kate, but whatevs) open about everything that was going on it- it was really sad. Why would you tell the whole world your husband's issues? And Jon was basically acting like the little kid that got caught stealing candy, and now hates everyone for getting caught.

I basically think that Kate is half evil- however she's honest about that side of her and I give kadooze to that. I also acknowledge the fact that if I had 8 kids- I would be bat shit crazy AND evil. I always felt bad for Jon, she is mean to him and he lets her get away with it. In the end, I actually don't think that he technically "cheated" on her. I'm sure he was hanging out with that ugly chick, and debated hooking up with her, but didn't. These are my educated assumptions. 

What I also can't get over is how famous they've gotten! How did this even happen? I JUST saw a commercial for like an E! special about "Jon and Kate, Twisted Fate"...

Anyways, I have 783456 shows that recorded tonight that I have to get through.

STFU!

Rihanna was spotted making out with Jimmy from Degrassi! I love him! Remember when he got shot in the back which paralyzed his legs. But he still overcame all of the stereotypes of people with disabilities. He coached basketball, and I'm fairly sure he underwent some kind of surgery which cured him. Either way- he was such an inspiration. Degrassi is the best. show. ever. There was even an episode with a penis pump! You don't get that kind of scandalous shit on American kid shows. 

More posts to come

...We must discuss the Real Housewives Reunion Part #1. But I do not have time right now. Putting out fires. AKA its lunch time. But I leave you with Lilo's emaciated arm...I want it.

Dirty Whore!

My emotions are torn. My first idea about Gretchen was that she was a giant skank. Then I watched more of the show, saw her with her pepaw and decided that maybe she was genuine after all. Then at the reunion when Tamra called her out, I questioned her yet again. And now after seeing this shit of her with that loser pussy known at Slade Smiley- I am going to spend my day writing her hate mail. Did she miss the entire season of Real Housewives when Slade cried maybe 59 times? And how did she miss Date My Ex, where Slade looked as though he aged a couple decades? I do not want to see either of these two douche bags on the next season (and by that I mean I'll always watch). Dlisted has way more hideous photos of these two.

Courtney Love?

Ohhhh nevermind, I didn't see the "prune" now I know its MK Olsen. I'm waiting for it to come out that MK is also trying out for New Moon. I could stand to lock myself in a tanning bed until May, but this one really needs to get some color. (Dlisted)

Fun to look at

Not another one!

Are you sitting down for this one? Brody Jenner and his Playmate girlfriend, Jayde Nicole have broken up :( I know... how could this possibly happen?
(Star)

This one is still awful.

Its no secret that I do not enjoy Scarlett Johansson. And after seeing He's just not that into you this weekend, I am even more secure with my decision of hating her. And yes, that's why I posted the ugliest, wonky eyed picture of her that I could find. Why exactly do people like her again?

Overall, the movie was exactly what I expected and I liked all the big names in it. Justin Long is pretty great, although what he ever saw in Drew Barrymore is beyond me. My Dad gave me He's just not that into you the book for Christmas a few years ago when it first came out. I decided not to read it because I thought that he was implying something by giving me a book with that title. "But dad...I have a boyfriend...and he REALLY likes me!" (I'm sure we broke up a day and half later). Plus (it took me a while) but I think I figured out that whole if he doesn't show interest in you, then he doesn't like you type thing. Stop laughing.

Girl, please.

So I read the rumors a few days ago that these two were "reconciling" in Miami. And here they are landing into LAX all sneaky, early this morning (TMZ). All I'm going to say is- I do not feel bad for her at all. Who does that?

Another one that didn't work out!

Nooooooo!!! How did this happen?! Jason Wahler, the sweetest gem from the Hills, and Katja (who knows/cares who she is?) have broken off their engagement. But she was there for him while he was in rehab! She "made him a better man"! You know Lauren is totally shocked by this latest move. Man, what a week!
(Us)

HOW did this not work out?!

What happened?! Did his lisp finally annoy the shit out of her? Or did her laugh drive him away? Either way, how devastating is this?
(Us)

I know I'm MIA

I don't care what you say, I love it.

These two are starting to annoy me...but I can't stop watching

So I follow Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore on Twitter. And they are REALLY annoying. Ashton- shut up! And Demi barely knows how to Twitter and made Rumer join. Meanwhile Perez keeps replying in and making fun of them, which I enjoy.

Ashton's Twitter yesterday:

@aplusk: last words... for now http://tinyurl.com/cluvhl

@aplusk:this is cracked me up. btw I should hit up VW http://tinyurl.com/ahn7ay about 11 hours ago from web

@aplusk:I usually respond agressively when I feel threatened. about 13 hours ago from TwitterFon

@aplusk:I find it very interesting that the tabloids are posting negative commentary of my twitter opinions Stop reading them if u don't like them about 13 hours ago from TwitterFon

@aplusk:@michael_phelps got your back brother about 21 hours ago from TwitterFon

@aplusk:And now the good news IOC says phelps apology is good enough. Accourding to a UK rueters article about 22 hours ago from TwitterFon

@aplusk:I don't smoke and haven't in quite some time. But I'm not immune to a lapse in good judgement from time to time. about 22 hours ago from TwitterFon

@aplusk:@jeanvpratt there's no such in as private in the days of citizen journalism. The real douche is the idiot that put out the pic about 22 hours ago from TwitterFon in reply to jeanvpratt

@aplusk:He's a good kid. Btw he could be a real douche but he's not. Maybe the media can quit dragging his dick in the dirt. about 22 hours ago from TwitterFon

@aplusk:I'm not saying it was a smart move. But he doesn't need to be publicly outer for it. Who ever put the pic out is an ass! about 22 hours ago from TwitterFon

@aplusk:I bet phelps can smoke a whole bowl in one breath. Swimmers lungs. about 22 hours ago from TwitterFon

@aplusk:I wish the media would kill this Phelps story. God forbid he hit a bong. Go ask your 20 year old kid what they did last weekend. about 22 hours ago from TwitterFon

*Sigh*. I still love it though. Yesterday, Demi even denied the rumors that they were adopting via twitter. I guess that's what we do now?

Why do I love Chuck Bass?

I spend a good amount of time Monday nights watching my shows. I go from watching Jason on the Bachelor being almost too sweet for his own good. And after that I usually need a good dose of reality from Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl. I LOVE him. And why exactly do I love him? NO idea. Well I do have an idea, he's the typical bad boy- also known as every girls nightmare. If I saw Ed Westwick on the street, I would not be attracted to him at all. In fact it took me multiple episodes to get the full Chuck Bass effect, and its not his looks that got me.
But then if I think about it, I'm not really into bad boys. I've never dated a "bad boy", nor have I really wanted to. So why do I love Chuck Bass?

Perfect quote from the show:
Chuck: Heard about the field hockey throwdown. All those mouth guards and short skirts. I hope somebody filmed it.
Blair: You're heinous.
Chuck: Which is probably why you called.
Blair: You know me well.
Chuck: Women like to pretend they're complicated. I know better.

Love it

(Thanks Zack!)

Ha! See? I'm not the only one!

Michael K is Hilarious

This one thinks that she has something to say

Apparently Ashlee Simpson thinks that she needs to address the fact that the entire world is making fun of her sister's weight gain.

"I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News. (Are you new? That's how things work around here)
All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard. (really?)
Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? (probably, and I hope they would do the same for me)
I seriously doubt it. (Bitch! You don't know me!)
How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure? (Uhmmm Size 2? Girl please...)
Now can we focus on the things that really matter.
-Ash"

I love this shit. We all saw the J Simp pictures, and they were all over the news. She's not the first one to be all over the news for weight gain. This is what people do. If we should be "focusing on the things that really matter" then why are you wasting your time defending her? Jessica Simpson has access millions of dollars, personal trainers, stylists, Ken Paves and of course Tony Romo's naughty bits- I do NOT feel bad for her.