I do not enjoy...

...The Neelys. I spend most of my weekends watching the Food Channel and fantasizing about one day being able to create something more than Mac and Cheese. 

I love Ina Garten, her soothing voice makes me just want to curl up in her bosom and take a nap. While most people don't like Giada de Laurentiis, I love her. I even love her giant teeth and can overlook the fact that she has to pronounce certain items in Italian: "I will now grate some fresh PARMAGIANNNNAA onto the PAAASTA." 

I don't like Rachael Ray...but then again, who does? I had an ex who was obsessed with Good Eats, so I watched enough Alton Brown to ruin me for a while. Sandra Lee is too put together and I don't trust anyone who can change their entire kitchen decor to suit the theme of the show.

Now the Neelys blatant display of their affection is just too much for me to bear. "Ohhh baby pass me the pepper...you know how I like my pepper!" "Oooo girl I know how you like your pepper, gimme some love, baby." Just stop. 

Wonky boobs

Even more reason for me to hate her.
(Dlisted)

Illin' it

So I am pretty much dying of the Lupus and/or Scurvy and/or maybe its just the flu. Either way I might be getting bed sores from laying in bed all day. There is nothing on TV, I have managed to watch Over Her Dead Body and The Davinci Code, maybe 2 hours of the Food Channel which was just torture when Ina Garten made maple BACON. And I am now currently watching Ever After- I may need to stop since listening to Drew Barrymore's lisp is driving me bonkers. The only thing that made my day today was this delightfully hilarious Hillshire Farms commercial which I can't get enough of.

This one is still awful.

Its no secret that I do not enjoy Scarlett Johansson. And after seeing He's just not that into you this weekend, I am even more secure with my decision of hating her. And yes, that's why I posted the ugliest, wonky eyed picture of her that I could find. Why exactly do people like her again?

Overall, the movie was exactly what I expected and I liked all the big names in it. Justin Long is pretty great, although what he ever saw in Drew Barrymore is beyond me. My Dad gave me He's just not that into you the book for Christmas a few years ago when it first came out. I decided not to read it because I thought that he was implying something by giving me a book with that title. "But dad...I have a boyfriend...and he REALLY likes me!" (I'm sure we broke up a day and half later). Plus (it took me a while) but I think I figured out that whole if he doesn't show interest in you, then he doesn't like you type thing. Stop laughing.

Your annoying

So I'll admit it- I'm not perfect (I know-its hard to believe). But I HATE it when people can't distinguish between "Your" and "You're." Its to the point where if I see someone do it on their Facebook status, I seriously ponder removing them. I grew up going to a French Immersion school, so I like to pretend that I never really even learned English properly. I was too busy learning that a computer is masculine, and that mice are feminine. I mean is it really necessary to give every object/thing a gender? Anyways, when I wasn't learning French I was learning Canadian. MUCH different than American with their "colour" and "eh?" and "what's that aboot?"
Just today I have already run into two different instances where my Canadian speech impediment came into play. First of all, while unpacking the new office, I was asking where the "cutlery" was. When I say cutlery, I don't just mean the knives. I mean all types of "flatware" or "silverware," whatever you people call it. After 13 years here, I still can't seem to get that one down. A short while later, I was then exploring the Dunkin Donuts downstairs where I was talking about getting a "French Crueller" pronouncing it like "crewler". Apparently I was WAY off and its pronounced "cruhller". Michael and I were arguing over it and the Dunkin lady totally put me in my place.
Long story short, if I can learn the difference between "your" and "you're," you can too.

(Thanks Michael)

I do not approve

Well allegedly this one has been cast as Leah Clearwater for the new Twilight movie... I'm not sure if you remember her extreme show of talent on the epic film HSM, but ZEfron blew her out of the water. She will single-handedly ruin the movie with her tiny teeth.

Ugh Lilies...

There are very few things in this world that I do not enjoy...jk. Anydespise, one object of my hatred are lilies. "Oh they are soo pretty" "I want them to be my center piece at my wedding" EW. Lilies smell like funeral homes. Think about it, I am not making this up. As I sit here in the office with a glorious little bouquet of flower beside my desk, the overwhelming smell of LILIES enters my nostrils...and then I think about death. Oh right, and Michael hates them too (he told me to write that).

Alright, I will say that Calla lilies are pretty...from afar.

Missed connections

Alright, am I the only one who reads "Missed Connections" on Craigslist? Yes, that's right. I am still waiting for the day when someone notices my beauty as I scowl the whole way to work on the train. No, not really. But they are really entertaining to read. In fact now that I'm thinking about it, there really aren't any websites 100% dedicated to "missed connections". Hmmmmm alright don't steal my idea- I'm going to be rich.

I came across this little love post today:

"Cute Braces - m4w"
I saw you at The Fucky Buddah.
You were with a few friends.
You had dark hair and braces.
We talked briefly but it was loud...
I think your name was Nicole.
Do you remember my name?


Uhmmm I'm not sure what to say about that. Braces? Mrs. McAuslan? But that does remind me of the time that we wanted to have a girls night and go to a cool lounge. We found Funky Buddha on Metromix and thought that it would be great to go there. FALSE. I do not enjoy.

I do not enjoy

Kimora Lee Simmons. I accidentally watched her show a couple times last year Life in the Fab Lane, and have hated her ever since. And the I accidentally caught some of her E! True Hollywood Story last night, which reaffirmed my aversion to her. So if you didn't know she was born in St. Louis and was super awkwardly tall. So like most awkwardly tall people, she got into modeling. A few years later, Russell Simmons took notice of her and pursued her. After a few more years, they got married. Long story short, Russell launched a women's wear line to be a part of Phat Farm. Kimora ended up being the lead design for Baby Phat. She is now of course, filthy rich and throws it in everyones face, and enjoys doing so. And is now allegedly knocked up with Djimon Hounsou's baby. She's an obnoxious beast.

I do not enjoy David Blaine

I actually can't think of a bigger waste of time and money than David Blaine's latest "stunt". I use the term loosely because I don't see hanging upside down for 60 hours in any way exciting, suspenseful or cool. Yeah, yeah... so your body isn't used to hanging upside down, you could go blind, blah blah. Really? Who cares. Doesn't do it for me. I accidentally tuned in for maybe 3 minutes total between Lipstick Jungle- then quickly regretted not watching the "I'm a PC" commercial instead. I enjoy his little card tricks and such, but his slow talking drives me nuts.

A ton of people actually showed up to see his ugly ass hanging there in Central Park. I think before the fact they figured out that the stunt wouldn't be that great, so they decided to have a "dive of death" at the very end. Here is a thrilling video of this "dive of death".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH7l87ktGds