Sometimes my cold black heart actually works...

World Food Day- Today!

I actually donated $...I know, we're lucky it's payday.

Imma let you finish BUT

Take it down a notch

I feel bad for Obama. Aside from the fact that the US is a giant clusterfuck right now, the guy cannot catch a break. I feel like every week I hear about some DISASTROUS thing that he's done. There was that whole Special Olympics joke on Leno and then hugging the Queen of England (NO!)? Or was that Michelle? I don't know, I just cannot get over how sensitive people are. The latest atrocious thing that he's done is killed a fly... So PETA is of course stepping in and is quoted as saying:

“We support compassion for the even the smallest animals," says Bruce Friedrich, VP for Policy at PETA. “We support giving insects the benefit of the doubt."
Friedrich says PETA supports "brushing flies away rather than killing them" and was disappointed that the President had gone ahead and squashed the pesky fly.

I'm all for humane treatment of animals (unless its Bruiser and he poops on the carpet) but come ON. Go back to throwing fake blood on fur wearers.

The latest happenings

• I've decided to quit my gym. We all know how much I hate that place and ever since the last incident there, I've managed to hate that place even more. I just don't feel like dropping another $650 for the year on a place that I actually loathe- its a recession people. Since they can't seem to get rid of the masses of people, the douche bags and the severely anorexic girl- I'm over Xsport forever. I have decided instead that I will go back to basics and run outside, and eat healthy. We'll see how long this idea lasts.
• In addition to quitting my gym, I am also quitting The Hills. I am permanently going to remove it from my DVR. I have officially had it with Spencer's greasy Care Bear face, Heidi's horse head and awkwardness, and Lauren being boring. To accommodate the space on my DVR, I will be recording Real Housewives of New Jersey. I had plans to boycott this show because I despise all things Jersey. BUT I tried that last time with Real Housewives of Atlanta, and I couldn't resist the trash. And RHNJ is way more incestuous which intrigues me, half of them are related somehow.
• Move update! So remember that post about how stressed I was to find a new place to live for May? Well I think it might have been that same day that we found a place! We were coming back from looking at one place in Lincoln Park when Carrie made several wrong turns. I think she may have been drunk, but that's neither here nor there. Luckily, for her drunk driving, we ended up going down our alley a different way. I saw a "For Rent" sign on the door that was listing a 2 bedroom. I called and the guy was in the apt, finishing up the entire new kitchen and bathroom. We LOVED it immediately. It was cheaper than we're each paying now, it allowed dogs, AND the kicker is that its literally 20ft from where we live now. Oh and we get the keys this weekend, a couple weeks ahead of our lease so we can start moving in. The only issue is that one bedroom has an obscenely small closet. So we now need to figure out some kind of pricing schematic, and then "draw straws" or flip a coin, who knows. Battle to the death.
• I love Carey Hart. Ever since his little tattoo show, Inked- I've loved him. He was on Chelsea Lately last night and it reminded me about our deep love. I thought that there was hope when him and Pink broke up (even though she would probably cut a bitch who gets near him) but they're "working things out" apparently.
• My one normal pair of sunglasses have managed to piss me off. They're too big to stay on my deformed head/face. So today I was so fed up that I decided to wear this pair from my Halloween costume as Rachel Zoe. I told myself that they're trendy, and sashayed out of my apartment with elegance. Cut to five minutes later when there is a girl BLATANTLY staring at my glasses and laughing at me. Not kidding. I slyly took them off, acting as though the sun glaring into my eyes wasn't bothering me. What a loser.
• UGH I just spilled coffee in my lap. That's my cue.

I hate...

So The Guardian did a study on top Google searches that start with "I hate..." Turns out I am torn between loving what many people hate and half agreeing with some of them (source).

I Hate...
1. Myself - 17,100,000 (k...)
2. Twilight - 13,600,000 (You will change your minds after seeing this GQ cover!)
3. George Bush - 7,090,000 (eh its over)
4. The Beatles - 5,420,000 (my brother would not be amused to hear this one)
5. Bono - 1,550,000 (I'm sort of over him)
6. Chris Martin - 1,520,000 (I do enjoy Coldplay when I'm depressed, but I don't trust any man skinnier than me)
7. Rachel Zoe - 591,000 (HOW DARE YOU! SHE IS MAGNIFICENT!)
8. Sarah Jessica Parker - 496,000 (I still like her even though she's getting a little long in the teeth...literally and figuratively)
9. Stephen Fowler - 397,000 (I somehow missed this Wife Swap episode but did watch some clips- and when I wasn't laughing, I was almost offended).
10. Madonna - 276,000 (She's outrageous but if I ever saw her in real life, I would chase her down the street and probably cry)

Now I did my own little Google search and these are the top ones that came up:

1) I Hate this part lyrics (I'm over this song already)
2) I Hate the Dark Knight (I thought people liked this movie?)
3) I Hate high school (It was not nearly as bad as middle school)
4) I Hate Breaking Dawn (The only Twilight book with sex in it?!)
5) I Hate college (wtf is wrong with you?)
6) I Hated Hated Hated this movie (Roger Ebert's book...who cares?)
7) I hate Indiana Jones 4 (Everyone did)
8) I Hate High School Musical (How could you hate anything with that closeted raging homo Zac Efron in it?)
9) I Hated Bush before it was cool (k..you win)

I don't know how I feel

So the new iPod shuffle was revealed today. This one is smaller than the last generation shuffle, holds 4GB of music (1,000 songs) and "talks to you." I like how small it is, and that the buttons are now on the headphones, but I don't need my shuffle to talk to me. It tells you what song you're listening to, the artist and from what playlist. I think I can figure out what song I'm listening to as soon as it starts...no? It's priced at $79, and only comes in silver or black. Eh, I don't know- I'm not blown away.

Girl, please.

So I read the rumors a few days ago that these two were "reconciling" in Miami. And here they are landing into LAX all sneaky, early this morning (TMZ). All I'm going to say is- I do not feel bad for her at all. Who does that?

Well this isn't good

Apparently a plane originating out of Turkey, crashed at the Schiphol airport in Amsterdam. 9 people are confirmed dead and at least 25-50 people have been injured. I have family near Schiphol so I hope that everyone is ok!
(CNN)

I'm a giver...

So I read in the Red Eye that there is a shortage of blood in the Chicago Area. And they need all blood types but especially types O and A. I once gave blood in college, and I believe it was during Greek Week so that I could get our sorority points. See? Giver. Anyways, I was given a card with my blood type (O+) on it so that's the only reason that I even remember what blood type I am. What I'm getting to is that in the spirit of doing something somewhat beneficial to the community, I am going to donate blood tomorrow. I sent around an email to a few people just seeing if they would like to come with me. One response:

Tanq: "I mean cuz if I were A or O I would for sure do it. But being a vampire and all it'll be so hard to be around all that blood...but seriously I might do it so then I can get super wasted tomorrow night." If you couldn't tell, he's right in the middle of the Twilight series.

If anyone is interested in joining me, I'm going tomorrow at 12:30! You can go to Lifesource.org to register.

While on the subject of losing virginity...

This has been all over the news for a couple months now, but if you aren't aware this is Natalie Dylan. Natalie Dylan is 22 years old, and auctioning off her virginity to the highest bidder. To prove her virginity she has already undergone a polygraph test and is willing to do a physical exam. She is doing this through the Bunny Ranch in Nevada (you know, from the acclaimed HBO hit Cathouse). So far, over 10,000 men have placed bids and the bid is now up to $2.5 MILLION DOLLARS! She plans to pay for graduate school with her "earnings", if you will.

She's quoted as saying: "I think me and the person I do it with will both profit greatly from the deal. "It's shocking that men will pay so much for someone's virginity, which isn't even prized so highly anymore," she added.

Judge her if you will...I think she's brilliant! You laugh at her now, but when she's debt free living in a million dollar mansion with a butler named Chaps- you will not be so critical. How she got up to 2.5 million is beyond me, I mean she's not that cute. But whatevs...more power to her, I guess.

(Source)

Thanks 911...

This 21 year old Wisconsin Madison student, Brittany Zimmerman, had someone break into her apartment. She called 911, and they didn't show up for 48 minutes... Her fiance came home to find her dead after being stabbed near the heart multiple times. The 911 operator claims that she didn't hear anything on the phone despite court records alleging that there were screams and gasps on the 911 tape. This slaying happened back in April, but they are now saying that she may have been able to live, had help come sooner.
Now, this bothers me because I remember thinking as a kid that the police show up maybe 3 seconds after you place the call. I think that's how I forced my brother to listen to me- by threatening that I will call the police and they would be there ASAP. What? Is that weird? Anyway, now that we are in the world of cell phones, can they locate where you are? If someones crazy ex girlfriend is choking me, and I call 911 from my cell, can they even find out where I am? And even if they can locate where the call came from, how long will it take them to get there? I could maybe last 35 seconds, and then just assume they aren't coming and give up. This story was depressing, but it does bring up a lot of questions.

Well, I'll be damned...

Who knew that Illinois politicians were corrupt? I heard about this recent scandal at the gym, early this morning (don't act surprised). The only things I knew about Blagojevich is that I liked his name, and that he has a bizarrely thick head of hair. From what I gather, Blagojevich is being accused of trying to "sell" Obama's vacant Senate seat, among other shenanigans. Now, let's be realistic- Obama's seat could go for a pretty penny. We are in a recession, people. He was just trying to skimp by with an extra few hundred thousand dollars in his pocket. He is also accused of nearly retracting $8 Million in funding for Children's Memorial Hospital, because the hospital CEO wouldn't give the governor the $50,000 kickback he demanded for his campaign. He even went so far as attempting to put his wife to work, by bribing people to hire her on. Well that's nice, put the whole fam to work- Recession! Well, I guess he's out on $4,500 bail...which doesn't seem like very much? I bet he's out eating a delightful dinner at Charlie Trotter's as we speak.