HA!

My Halloween morning Gchat with Bridget:

Bridget: i dont have plans. dress up black out and frolic
me: what are you dressing up as?
Bridget: 3 amigos
me: hhaha stop
Bridget: yes its great
wooden toy horses
huge sombraros
me: haha
Bridget: yes it will be fun
and its totally comfy
Bridget: what s good song i shoudl listen to
me: eh i dont know
although i sort of like "if i were a boy" by beyonce
Bridget: oh me2!!!
Bridget: i put it on
i look rudolph
my nose just keeps running
and i barely ever wipe it
me: haha
Bridget: and now my nose is raw
bc when i do wipe it it is usualyl with a sleeve
me: uhmmmmm
gross
Bridget: haha i know i cant get it together
me: my friend molly maybe can't go out tonight because she has pink eye...
i mean thats worse

Bridget: haha bizarre. i had double pink ey e in college once
and i wiped it allll over Feathers' bed bc he was pissing me off
me: omg
HHAAHAHAHAHA
Bridget: sorry about that FEATHS!
me: you are the WORST!
Bridget: i actually think most of the soccer team go it
got it
and im not exaggerating
me: OMG stop it right now
Bridget: haha
ya it was terrible actually
my eyes were like fire red and i couldn't wear make up (which i secretly liked )
me: haha i can imagine your elegance
Bridget: haha!

At the time this was totally normal...

The Halloween dressing up festivities remind me of the good old Club Med days. Now for those of you who don't know- right after college I went to work for Club Med in the exotic Port St. Lucie, Florida. I'll spare you the details of what exactly Club Med is, but basically its an all inclusive resort where the employees "wear many different hats" if you will. My main job was working at reception, I later moved to be the logistics manager. So basically you do your 6-8ish hours a day at your "main job". The evenings are set aside for you to work some more! Many people will be in the shows that play each night. I managed to avoid the shows for a few months until that little kitty of a choreography lured me into the shows (story for another day). There were also mandatory "greetings" where we had to stand outside of the shows in our evening dress code saying "cou cou" to every single guest. My anxiety is rising just thinking about it.

LONG story short we sometimes had "special celebration" nights. This was usually around a holiday or if a lot of French were in town. What this consisted of was a champagne toast and 8 girls standing on a podium in old Italian wedding dresses. Whats that? Why? I have NO idea. I was picked (and by picked- I mean forced) to do the wedding dress thing because apparently I was small enough to fit into the dresses. I guess that was sort of a compliment at the time. So after dinner I would run over to this dressing room to grab the "least ugly" dress. And yes, I had to fight for the dress every week. And yes after doing it long enough, I felt entitled.

Next we had to do our makeup! This was supervised by Martina, the French golf store manager. Martina figured out that I spoke French and would then ONLY speak to me in French. Martina would enforce that we have our hair in a low bun using maybe 3000 bobby pins and hairspray. Bright red lipstick that we all shared was also mandatory. And god forbid we forget the GLITTER! I kid you not, we had glitter powdered all over our body.

Once the transformation was complete, we trekked over to the main outdoor stage area and got on our platform. We then stood there smiling for an entire 40 minutes. Fireworks would go off directly behind us and since we weren't allowed to freak out, we could merely cross our fingers that our shellacked hair wouldn't catch on fire.

Its funny how I remember the very first time I did it. The other girls had done it before and it was TOTALLY normal to them. I actually laughed at myself the entire time. All I could think was "Really??" Of course, by the time the next week rolled around I was a champ and it was totally normal for me.

I obviously didn't win the "least ugly" dress race in this picture!

Ugh Lilies...

There are very few things in this world that I do not enjoy...jk. Anydespise, one object of my hatred are lilies. "Oh they are soo pretty" "I want them to be my center piece at my wedding" EW. Lilies smell like funeral homes. Think about it, I am not making this up. As I sit here in the office with a glorious little bouquet of flower beside my desk, the overwhelming smell of LILIES enters my nostrils...and then I think about death. Oh right, and Michael hates them too (he told me to write that).

Alright, I will say that Calla lilies are pretty...from afar.

Excited for Halloween!

So this is basically what I'm going for on Halloween this Friday:

+ accessories and a couple props.

Things I enjoy Lately

So since I have nothing better to do around 10:30 at night and TV is my favorite thing- I have started watching Chelsea Lately. I LOVE Chelsea Handler. She says everything that she wants, and has given me new names for the female no-no area like peekachoo. And of course I love the term nugget. She also has some pretty funny people on her "round table" like Brad Wollack who is also a writer for her show. That little ginger either makes hilarious jokes, or awkward ones that no one gets. I like all of it.

My top five Chelsea quotes:

5. "In her new book, Barbara Walters reveals she had an ongoing affair with Senator Edward Brooke in the '70s. Shockingly, Senator Brooke was married and black at the time. I want to know what she's saving for her juicy follow-up book. Maybe she was there when Biggie got shot."

4. "British people who do good things get made knights or lords. They should make Heather Mills a count and then just remove the O."

3."Miley Cyrus is giving her first concert in the U.K., and she's really enjoying her taste of a new culture, like how they use different words for things, like how they call elevators lifts and Clay Aiken a cigarette."

2. "There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."

1."The National Enquirer says Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend, 20-year-old underwear model Jason Gaston, has virtually moved in with her. I think Billy Ray needs to start worrying about Miley’s achy breaky hymen."

Oh Canada!

So this weekend was my Opa's 80th birthday so we made the trek up to the homeland. Ever since we moved to the US 12 years ago, we have really only been able to make it back once a year at Christmas time. We have driven every time which can take anywhere from 8-12 hours depending on weather. My parents discovered what I think is a MUCH better plan. We now fly into Buffalo and drive another hour or so to our hometown. This is much easier to swallow than a 10 hour drive sitting in cramped quarters.

We stopped in Niagara Falls for a quick photo op.

This is also a mandatory stop as soon as we get into Canada. For those of you who don't know what Poutine is, it is the most delicious fat person food ever! Its fries with cheese curds, and gravy smeared over top. Aka delicious in every way. I inhaled it.

So after travelling all day, stopping by to see Babci (my dad's mom) we surprised my Opa by taking him to a CFL game: the Hamilton Tigercats vs. the Calgary Stampeders. The Tigercats (or Ticats is what the cool people call them) gave my Opa a jersey with his name and the #80. I was of course busy shoving hot dogs and caramel corn in my mouth. Oh, and the cheerleaders wear parkas? It really wasn't that cold out...

We even got to sit near Walter Gretzky, who is actually just as big a celebrity as his son, Wayne Gretzky. He lives in our hometown, Brantford so we saw him often growing up and I swam my whole life in the Gretzky Center. He is a cute little nugget.

Saturday we were headed out to dinner and got the entire Van Dongen side of the family to stop by my Babci's apartment to say hi. She could not have been more excited, but then she cries and then I cry. It definitely made her day!

Dinner to celebrate the family all being together and my Opa's 80th bday was at the Old School House. We celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary here, so it was nice to get back. This is the entire side of my mom's family. So it was a great weekend, had an awesome time catching up with the family! I will be heading back to Canada in 2 weeks for my cousin's wedding on the other side of the family! This will maybe be the first year since we moved that we will actually get to see everyone.

This is what I have to deal with people-

So I'm going to the homeland this weekend (aka Canada) for my Grandpa's 80th birthday. And THIS is the text I get from Michael just a few minutes ago:

"Better bring me back something Canadian! Oooh! Like a sexy hockey player! One of those real rough ones that'd call u a bitch while they f*ck you!"

"Yeah! Bring me that!!"

I will be WAY too busy making maple syrup and riding around via sled dogs to do any hockey player recruiting.

I just...can't

Really with those props? I cannot handle it. And correct me if I'm wrong, it is not short and tank top weather in LA this time of year. I love how these two completely think that they will swing the Republican vote with their delightful propaganda. Remember when they looked like this:

I'm sure it has nothing to do with her annorexia...

That poor Taylor Momsen, a.k.a. Jenny Humphrey from Gossip Girl has a been in the hospital for a "severe, potentially life-threatening throat infection".

Dr. Shawn Nasseri said, "I have been treating Miss Taylor Momsen for the last few days. She has been hospitalized for a severe, potentially life-threatening throat infection since Sunday. She has been an excellent patient, and after aggressive antibiotics and medications, she is expected to make a full recovery in the next three to five days."

Alright, it was mean of me to suggest that she has an eating disorder...I'm just jealous of her self control. She actually isn't even my least favorite person on Gossip Girl. That Vanessa needs to be the one that gets killed off the show.

Germs EVERYWHERE

Well, one of the perks of my job is that my desk is right by the bathroom. I get to monitor everyone going in and out, how long they hang out in there, etc. Its really exciting! You would actually be surprised at how many times during the course of the day someone asks me "Who is in the bathroom? Is so-and-so in the bathroom?" So, when I'm not putting out fires, I am keeping a close eye on the bathroom. Ok not really. But I find it hard to believe that when you are in the bathroom maybe 30 seconds, that you had time to pee, put the seat back down and thoroughly wash your hands. I know, gross...and weird that I notice things like that.

Ok, so I might be a bit of a germaphobe- but I am a firm believer in hand washing. I know, crazy, right? I wash my hands immediately after getting into work, for fear that the train handrail harbored some kind of unknown hepatitis strain. Then, I wash my hands every time I even venture near the bathroom, before I eat lunch, before I leave for the day, etc. I would say that during the day I wash my hands at least 7-9 times at work alone. I have strategically placed waterless hand sanitizer all around the office so that we don't have a flu epidemic this winter season. I HATE when I see someone handling chicken, or cracking eggs- and then they rinse their fingertips quickly under cold water not using soap. Are you insane? Salmonella everywhere! I am paranoid about food poisoning. If you've ever had it, then you know what I'm talking about.

Did you know?

- Up to half of all men and a quarter of women fail to wash their hands after they've been to
the toilet
- Right handed people tend to wash their left hand more thoroughly than their right hand, and
visa versa
- We have between 2 and 10 million bacteria between fingertip and elbow
- Damp hands spread 1,000 times more germs than dry hands
- The number of germs on your fingertips doubles after you use the toilet
- Germs can stay alive on hands for up to three hours
- Millions of germs hide under watches and bracelets and there could be as many germs
under your ring as there are people in Europe

Alright, I guess all I'm trying to say is please wash your hands!