My top five Chelsea quotes:
5. "In her new book, Barbara Walters reveals she had an ongoing affair with Senator Edward Brooke in the '70s. Shockingly, Senator Brooke was married and black at the time. I want to know what she's saving for her juicy follow-up book. Maybe she was there when Biggie got shot."
4. "British people who do good things get made knights or lords. They should make Heather Mills a count and then just remove the O."
3."Miley Cyrus is giving her first concert in the U.K., and she's really enjoying her taste of a new culture, like how they use different words for things, like how they call elevators lifts and Clay Aiken a cigarette."
2. "There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."
1."The National Enquirer says Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend, 20-year-old underwear model Jason Gaston, has virtually moved in with her. I think Billy Ray needs to start worrying about Miley’s achy breaky hymen."