Thanks Rachel for the greatest video since Gem Sweater!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyqUj3PGHv4
"Uh OH! Look at Kiki! She caught the 'YES'!"
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I do not enjoy
Kimora Lee Simmons. I accidentally watched her show a couple times last year Life in the Fab Lane, and have hated her ever since. And the I accidentally caught some of her E! True Hollywood Story last night, which reaffirmed my aversion to her. So if you didn't know she was born in St. Louis and was super awkwardly tall. So like most awkwardly tall people, she got into modeling. A few years later, Russell Simmons took notice of her and pursued her. After a few more years, they got married. Long story short, Russell launched a women's wear line to be a part of Phat Farm. Kimora ended up being the lead design for Baby Phat. She is now of course, filthy rich and throws it in everyones face, and enjoys doing so. And is now allegedly knocked up with Djimon Hounsou's baby. She's an obnoxious beast.
I Enjoy
I enjoy Parker Posey in Dazed and Confused. I had forgotten about her infamous line: "WIPE THAT FACE OFF YOUR HEAD BITCH!"
Friday, October 3, 2008
100 extremely interesting things about me!
That's right. I actually had to do this for our website at work, but I know those of you who haven't seen it, really want to.
1. I was born in Richmond Hill, Ontario
2. But grew up in Brantford, Ontario home of Wayne Gretzky
3. So this means I’m Canadian
4. I can’t vote in the US
5. I don’t have a middle name
6. I have one younger brother named Jay
7. He has a middle name
8. I wanted April to be my middle name like 10 years ago
9. I went skydiving over the Swiss Alps
10. I’m half Polish half Dutch
11. I’m fluent in French
12. The Dutch have the tallest average height, isn’t that weird?
13. I’m only 5’4” on a good day
14. I lived in Paris, France for 5 months
15. I’ve been through 3 digital cameras
16. I think I traded one for a drink once
17. I like gin and tonics
18. I went to the University of Iowa
19. I was on the mens rowing team
20. I like attention
21. I obsess over celebrity gossip
22. I hate birds
23. I am allergic to Aspirin
24. And Sulfa Drugs
25. I am a certified Open Water diver
26. I have a weird pet peeve about people not breaking down boxes before throwing them out
27. And people who don’t wash their hands all the time
28. I secretly want to have a ton of tattoos but never will go through with it for fear of looking trashy
29. I do have one tattoo
30. Me and about 5 other girls got the same tattoo
31. We were in a sorority
32. And I’m still obsessed with my sorority
33. I like big ten schools
34. I love bacon
35. Some people think that I’m a bit of a hypochondriac
36. I think so too
37. I worked for Club Med
38. I’m obsessed with Thailand
39. And Dave Matthews, and I don’t like people who don’t appreciate him
40. I also love Larry David
41. My favorite book is The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo
42. I often think that I started certain trends
43. I’m convinced that I read the DaVinci code way before everyone else got obsessed
44. I was on the set of the filming of the DaVinci Code in Paris
45. I love fanny packs
46. I despise cheap people
47. I majored in International Studies
48. With an emphasis in Global Artistic Tradition and Change
49. And I minored in Art History
50. And French
51. My favorite piece of art is the Nike of Samothrace
52. I am obsessed with quotations
53. My favorite color is pink
54. I think London is overrated
55. I wrote a thesis on the Architectural, Cultural and Financial History of the Place Vendôme in Paris
56. I don’t like it when I find out someone has the same perfume as me
57. What? That's not weird!
58. I love interesting people
59. I bruise easily
60. I wanted to be an actress
61. Until I figured out that I can’t act
62. But I can be dramatic...or so I'm told...
63. I still think that I’ll be famous
64. I played soccer, softball, and swam as a kid
65. I ran track and cross country in high school
66. My fastest 2.5 mile race was at state sophomore year at 15:36
67. I came in 96th in the state
68. The weight on my first drivers license was 96 lbs.
69. I wish I still weighed 96 lbs.
70. I hate math
71. I secretly wish that I was Jewish…only for the bat mitzvah
72. I love skiing but rarely ever get to ski
73. I have a snowboard that I have never used
74. I have the worst guilty conscience
75. I am a terrible liar
76. I have been to 8 different Cirque du Soleil shows
77. Cirque du Soleil is another one of those things that I’m convinced that I liked way before anyone else knew about it
78. I hung out on O.A.R.’s tour bus
79. Our first family pet was a cat my dad named Petruschka
80. Which allegedly means parsley in Polish
81. We have 2 Vizslas at home, Tori and Amber
82. I used to be in choir
83. I’m convinced that I’m going to have twins one day
84. I don’t enjoy when people can’t figure out when to say “good” versus “well”
85. I love school and wish that I could take classes forever
86. I HAD (as in the past) a stamp collection, a coin collection and I used to collect beanie babies and pressed pennies
87. I got food poisoning in Puerto Vallarta once
88. I think it might have been the 5 peso slice of pizza
89. The two science classes that I took in college were “Human Origins” and my personal favorite: “Age of Dinosaurs”
90. I’m scared of clowns
91. And mascots
92. I think lilies smell like funeral homes
93. I’ve never had White Castle
94. My main goal in life is to travel the world
95. And write a book
96. I’m proud of the fact that I have perfect vision…knock on wood
97. I have the greatest dog in the land named Bruiser, but I wish that I would have named him Chompers
98. I cannot go anywhere without a bottle of water
99. "On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."
100. I LOVE "Africa" by Toto
1. I was born in Richmond Hill, Ontario
2. But grew up in Brantford, Ontario home of Wayne Gretzky
3. So this means I’m Canadian
4. I can’t vote in the US
5. I don’t have a middle name
6. I have one younger brother named Jay
7. He has a middle name
8. I wanted April to be my middle name like 10 years ago
9. I went skydiving over the Swiss Alps
10. I’m half Polish half Dutch
11. I’m fluent in French
12. The Dutch have the tallest average height, isn’t that weird?
13. I’m only 5’4” on a good day
14. I lived in Paris, France for 5 months
15. I’ve been through 3 digital cameras
16. I think I traded one for a drink once
17. I like gin and tonics
18. I went to the University of Iowa
19. I was on the mens rowing team
20. I like attention
21. I obsess over celebrity gossip
22. I hate birds
23. I am allergic to Aspirin
24. And Sulfa Drugs
25. I am a certified Open Water diver
26. I have a weird pet peeve about people not breaking down boxes before throwing them out
27. And people who don’t wash their hands all the time
28. I secretly want to have a ton of tattoos but never will go through with it for fear of looking trashy
29. I do have one tattoo
30. Me and about 5 other girls got the same tattoo
31. We were in a sorority
32. And I’m still obsessed with my sorority
33. I like big ten schools
34. I love bacon
35. Some people think that I’m a bit of a hypochondriac
36. I think so too
37. I worked for Club Med
38. I’m obsessed with Thailand
39. And Dave Matthews, and I don’t like people who don’t appreciate him
40. I also love Larry David
41. My favorite book is The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo
42. I often think that I started certain trends
43. I’m convinced that I read the DaVinci code way before everyone else got obsessed
44. I was on the set of the filming of the DaVinci Code in Paris
45. I love fanny packs
46. I despise cheap people
47. I majored in International Studies
48. With an emphasis in Global Artistic Tradition and Change
49. And I minored in Art History
50. And French
51. My favorite piece of art is the Nike of Samothrace
52. I am obsessed with quotations
53. My favorite color is pink
54. I think London is overrated
55. I wrote a thesis on the Architectural, Cultural and Financial History of the Place Vendôme in Paris
56. I don’t like it when I find out someone has the same perfume as me
57. What? That's not weird!
58. I love interesting people
59. I bruise easily
60. I wanted to be an actress
61. Until I figured out that I can’t act
62. But I can be dramatic...or so I'm told...
63. I still think that I’ll be famous
64. I played soccer, softball, and swam as a kid
65. I ran track and cross country in high school
66. My fastest 2.5 mile race was at state sophomore year at 15:36
67. I came in 96th in the state
68. The weight on my first drivers license was 96 lbs.
69. I wish I still weighed 96 lbs.
70. I hate math
71. I secretly wish that I was Jewish…only for the bat mitzvah
72. I love skiing but rarely ever get to ski
73. I have a snowboard that I have never used
74. I have the worst guilty conscience
75. I am a terrible liar
76. I have been to 8 different Cirque du Soleil shows
77. Cirque du Soleil is another one of those things that I’m convinced that I liked way before anyone else knew about it
78. I hung out on O.A.R.’s tour bus
79. Our first family pet was a cat my dad named Petruschka
80. Which allegedly means parsley in Polish
81. We have 2 Vizslas at home, Tori and Amber
82. I used to be in choir
83. I’m convinced that I’m going to have twins one day
84. I don’t enjoy when people can’t figure out when to say “good” versus “well”
85. I love school and wish that I could take classes forever
86. I HAD (as in the past) a stamp collection, a coin collection and I used to collect beanie babies and pressed pennies
87. I got food poisoning in Puerto Vallarta once
88. I think it might have been the 5 peso slice of pizza
89. The two science classes that I took in college were “Human Origins” and my personal favorite: “Age of Dinosaurs”
90. I’m scared of clowns
91. And mascots
92. I think lilies smell like funeral homes
93. I’ve never had White Castle
94. My main goal in life is to travel the world
95. And write a book
96. I’m proud of the fact that I have perfect vision…knock on wood
97. I have the greatest dog in the land named Bruiser, but I wish that I would have named him Chompers
98. I cannot go anywhere without a bottle of water
99. "On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."
100. I LOVE "Africa" by Toto
Worst child in the history of EVER
So this is a nice little Friday story. Apparently this 7 year old BEAST of a child broke into an Australian Zoo. You're thinking, "oh silly little kid- tee hee breaking in". However, he then proceeded to KILL 13 animals by smashing them with rocks. And then fed the dead animals to a crocodile... The zoo caught the little bastard on video surveillance. And his face was "expressionless" the entire time he was Dahmering the shit out of innocent animals. SERIOUSLY?! What 7 year old kid would do that?! You have NO idea what I would do if that were my kid... And they can't press charges because he was a kid. Oh. My. God. A 7 year old knows better than to murder animals...I would think.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I'm trading Bruiser in...
...for this little nugget. He's a little British deer premie whose mom was hit by a car :( I love him.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Starbucks is never to be trusted...
Bethany just got her wallet stolen at the Starbucks across the street! This is actually the worst Starbucks ever (although I still manage to end up there a few times a week...whatevs). Bethany was headed over there for a meeting, and Michael and I decided to tag along. It actually took us almost 20 minutes to get 2 drinks... I mean really?
So, soon after we left, Bethany felt some shenanigans going on in her coat pocket. She turned around to see some giant dude bolting out the door with her wallet! The girl Bethany was with ran after the guy and Bethany grabbed the chick that was with him. The chick (who apparently had gold teeth...) elbowed Bethany and ran off. Meanwhile, the dude had gotten into a car that was waiting for him! SNEAKY BASTARDS!
I am NEVER going there again. At least not until I have a serious caffeine craving...so probably tomorrow :(
There is a silver lining to this awful Starbucks- the lady with the mustache. She is awesome and most orders with her go as follows:
"Hi, can I please get a venti coffee?"
"GIRL, whatchu wanna mocha frappuccino?!"
"...no just a venti coffee."
"Whats that?! A mango vivano with ice??!"
"Nope. Just a venti coffee please..."
"Oooo girl I gotcha! SHEILA! Can I get a tall carmel macchiato?!"
We LOVES her.
My Growing Celebrity Status
As you can probably tell, I changed my URL to maintain strict anonymity. Because that's how important I am. When the UN calls and offers me a job, I can't have them know about my food addictions and sarcastic bad 'tude.
I will now introduce you to Michael because I will probably refer to him a lot (when he's on my good side- which varies between 3% to 10% of the time). And since he needs a lot of attention I will be FORCED to write about him and how hilarious and wonderful he is. He works right behind me...he is my assistant. In this picture Michael is doing "prune". For those of you who don't read Dlisted, Michael K (the Dlisted blogger) says the Olsen twins always say "prune" when posing to make their lips plumper. So now this is a daily occurrence in our lives, practicing prune.
I will now introduce you to Michael because I will probably refer to him a lot (when he's on my good side- which varies between 3% to 10% of the time). And since he needs a lot of attention I will be FORCED to write about him and how hilarious and wonderful he is. He works right behind me...he is my assistant. In this picture Michael is doing "prune". For those of you who don't read Dlisted, Michael K (the Dlisted blogger) says the Olsen twins always say "prune" when posing to make their lips plumper. So now this is a daily occurrence in our lives, practicing prune.
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