This made my afternoon...

Ha. I have no idea what I would do with my time if the gays stopped dancing along to pop hits and then posting them on YouTube. My favorite part of this video is at the end, when his mother hands him a towel. He couldn't find anyone else to tape him?

"What eating disorder?"

"Truthfully, I've never seen myself as being too thin."

Wow. Uhmmmm I know that ribs are the new cleavage...but this might be a little extreme.

Baba Palace

So it is maybe 2 degrees outside right now and freezing. The only thing that I want to do is curl up in a womb somewhere and hibernate with hot chocolate and Ed Westwick. Since that seems a little irrational, we decided to head over to my favorite little Indian/Pakistani place Baba Palace for lunch (and don't get fancied by the website, its not that glamorous). You walk in and there is a huge menu with crazy dishes and pictures to help those of us who don't know the ins and outs of Indian food. Every cab driver that I've ever known is also here. For whatever reason, I LOVE this place. I love it so much that I even reviewed it on Yelp! I do that sometimes...don't act surprised. Its nice and toasty, the food is good- I get the Frontier Chicken and Daal. The adorable little man at the counter barely speaks English but we're best friends. Then there is like a 90 year old man who brings out the food and cleans up. He is also my best friend. I think I like it because for an hour out of the day, you feel like you're somewhere else. So Michael and I dragged Bethany out to this place to make her try it. Needless to say she hated the food, hates us and is now running around saying "mmmm hmmm them Pakistani don't like the Jews." So she won't be going back, but I plan to move in when my lease is up.

I die!

RACHEL ZOE PROJECT WILL BE BACK FOR ANOTHER SEASON!!!! OMG I DIE! I'VE COME UNDONE!

I just threw up in my mouth...

I know you've been waiting anxiously for the Heidi and Spencer honeymoon pictures. They could not be more awful. I have no idea why I'm obsessed with these two, its like a train wreck. I keep waiting and waiting for them to come out and be like "Ok, we we've been totally kidding around for the past few years. Our entire life is a sham etc." Anywhoo, I pulled a few of my favorites but Popsugar has about 90 classy pictures of these two douche bags.

Another Ben Phelps update

Ben sent around this email to his sister and a few buddies. He is such a sweetheart!

"So I take a girl home last night, and it wasn’t easy…I had to sneak her out of the bar and over to another bar w/o her boyfriend seeing and the girl that I was with seeing.

Anyways….about an hour after she leaves in the morning I get a text….”thanks for letting me stay the night last night” I text back “pleasure was all mine J u can come over and snuggle any time”

About 35 seconds later my phone rings, a number I don’t recognize…I answer. “Hi this is Chris….u met me last night, u remember?”

“uhhhhh, no I don’t bro”

Im Lacy’s boyfriend

“ohhhhhh, oh yeah, whats up dude? (I actually did remember him, he used to pitch for the Braves, 33 years old)

Hey do you know where Lacy is? She didn’t come home last night”

What? Really? no I don’t

if you know anything you should tell me

Bro I don’t know where she is

Well I saw your text to her this morning

What??????

Yeah, U know that text u got from her this morning, it was me! I was testing you b/c I saw you guys talking last night!

(Fill in a long uncomfortable silence here, I had just woke up and was NOT prepared for this.)

“Ok well how did you get her phone”? And are you with her now?

No I just left her…listen if you guys are just friends I will understand but if there is more going on I want to know. she is ripping my heart apart. (At this point I know he does love her b/c only love would let you rationalize your girl sleeping at another guys house bc they are just “friends” I mean come on, that’s lame!

Well anyways it turns out this guy is waiting ALL NIGHT at this chicks house for her and then stole her phone b/c she denied anything happened but he was testing me. I denied until I was blue in the face. But the story gets worse!!! He went to her office and made a scene there, 2nd time he has done it! She got fired on the spot guys!!!! Hilarious!! "
...

Onch

As I was accidentally watching Paris Hilton: My new BFF at the gym this morning, I was reintroduced to the wonderful world of Onch Movement. That's his name. Onch was a contestant to be one of Paris' new BFFs and he was HILARIOUS. He is a jewelry designer whose favorite color is rainbow, and considers himself to be "pomp". I almost peed my pants at the gym watching him run around, flapping his arms around wearing pigtails and rainbow socks. Please enjoy the Best Week Ever clip below of a fantastic scene from the show.

Who let him wear a shirt?

Have you ever seen anything so terrifying? He definitely deserves Sportsman of the Year, but this picture is HORRIBLE. And I think we all know Michael Phelps is much more attractive with his shirt off (and preferably over his face). I thought this was perhaps his Madame Tussauds wax replica or something. Apparently its not.

Christmas decorations and I do not get along

Here's the thing with Christmas decorations, or any decorations really. I enjoy them. They are nice to look at (assuming they're not hideously tacky ones). HOWEVER, I do not enjoy putting up decorations or taking them down. So much so, that I would rather just look at other peoples decorations rather than put up my own. And I realized why I hate putting them up (aside from the fact that its physical labor)- its because I suck at it. I spent a good 2 hours today putting up decorations at work. It was just me, heaving and huffing and climbing ladders in my Uggs to string up a few strands of Christmas lights. Meanwhile, everyone else is sitting at their desk criticizing my every attempt at making them look right.

Michael (In his nasally gay voice): "JKrack, whats with the garland? Its like you ran out of lights and there's an extra foot just sitting there. AND FYI- you look morbidly obese."

Bethany (In her high pitched south side accent): "Uhhhmm JKrack... that looks TERRIBLE. I'm glad I'm Jewish."

Brandon (In his astonishingly deep voice): "Uhh yeah, why are you putting tinsel on the ficus?"

Sierra: "Actually, if you fall- our disability is %100."

EVERYONE: "WHERE ARE OUR CANDY CANES!! GO GET CANDY CANES!"

Grits? Really?

Well of course I watched Britney Spears: For the Record on MTV last night. I have been waiting for this little interview for weeks.

1) First of all...what is WITH her hair?! It almost looks as thin and limp as mine, but you know if I had millions, I'd have the best and thickest hair money could buy.

2) She bites her nails... as do I- and I HATE it. Again, if I had millions- you know I would have invested a good $10,000 into a hypnotist to make me stop.

3) She actually is manic nuts. One minute she's like crying about marrying for the wrong reasons, and the next minute she's like doing crazy impressions of gay makeup artists. ?

4) I had no idea her dad was so...classy. He has one of those delightful southern accents. I do an impression of this type of accent, but it isn't as funny via blog. So, the documentary starts with him cooking Brit breakfast. And by breakfast, I mean baby vomit. That's how I feel about grits. I tried grits for the first time at brunch a few weeks ago, and almost regurgitated them onto my bacon. They taste and look exactly like how I would imagine baby vomit tasting and looking. AND her dad ripped up American cheese to put in there. I don't get it.

5) So she bought this coat during the documentary. I paid close attention to it, because I need that coat immediately. Apparently this is the ONLY coat she brought to Europe since every shot of her is in this coat. And I'm now depressed- This fantastic Michael Kors coat was on sale at Bloomingdale's for $101.50 but the only size they have left in tan is a size 14 :( AND Overstock only has larges left. Boo.

However, I will probably throughly enjoy her new CD coming out tomorrow!