Adventures at Camp K

So every couple months I head out to the burbs to spend time with the fam. They LOVE when I come home. And by that I mean, Wendy prepares herself for a weekend of constant nagging and annoyance from me. Les just got back tonight from China and Japan for business, and I'm fairly sure he was more excited to Bruise than me. That's pretty standard.

This is my weekend so far:

Friday 7:45pm: In the car minutes from home, Bruiser pukes all over my lap, and then proceeds to have diarrhea on the floor mat of the car. Awesome.

7:49pm: Arrive at "Camp K" while Bruise runs around barking hysterically, the other two dogs (Tori and Amber- yes, I'm aware that they have stripper names) try to avoid him and greet me with dirty stuffed animals.

8:15-10:00pm: Wash my vomit jeans while watching HGtv.

10:15pm: Bed.

Saturday 6:00am: Awake to the sound of Bruiser crying outside my parent's door, trying to wake them up and take him for a walk. Evil.

7:15am: take Bruise to the groomers and debate leaving him there permanently.

7:30am: Take the other 2 dogs for a delightful walk in the park for 15 minutes and I then decide its much too cold to be out there.

8:30am: Reluctantly pick Bruiser up from the groomers. I now like him again that he's clean and has a cute bandanna.

9:00-1:30pm: Shop with Wendy and spend money that I do not have on things that I do not need.

4:30pm: Jay surprises me by coming home to see the fam. I try to get info out of him about girls, he lets me know nothing.

5:30pm: Les returns home bearing gifts! I have a new scent- Hermes Kelly Caleche.

7:15pm: I feel immense RAGE against chocolate companies that do not include a "legend"* with the chocolates. Am I supposed to guess whats in there? No, I don't trust that. I cannot risk getting a gross cherry cordial chocolate. Its almost not worth it... But I can't resist so I risk it and this time I was lucky- caramel and truffle.

7:45pm: Sit down to watch various pirated DVDs from Shanghai.

Then apparently we will be stopping the movie at 8:30 for Earth Hour, per my Dad's demands. I am not sure what we will do for one hour in candlelight while staring at each other. My guess is that he'll plan on falling asleep at 8:31 and leave the rest of us to entertain ourselves.

*What the HELL are these things called? Legend? Map? Diagram? I tried googling it to no avail.