Zelazowa

So Carrie and I are expanding our horizons and trying new things. This included last night, we went to a concert at the Elbo Room to see Zelazowa. My friend Chris from Club Med has a couple friends in the band, and is helping manage them. They are from Philly and are travelling through the Midwest putting on some shows. It was really great to reminisce about the old Club Med days and also to hear the band, they're awesome.

Ha, this was halloween when we basically figured out that our life was a joke.

His last day in the office :(

This was Bruise today, at his last day in the office after getting a new hair did by Brenda. He is retiring after almost a year and half of hard work. But really we are moving offices and there are no dogs allowed in the new office. Booo.

Love it

(Thanks Zack!)

Rangas? I still prefer gingers

(Thanks Matt!)

Sorry Mom

This site is awesome...although I'm pretty sure this picture is Ramon, a kid I work with. Interesting.

(Thanks Jessica!)

Genius!

Bacon is taking over the world. Click here to find out how to make the Bacon Explosion!

Love it!

(Thanks Eileen!)

Ha! See? I'm not the only one!

Michael K is Hilarious

This one thinks that she has something to say

Apparently Ashlee Simpson thinks that she needs to address the fact that the entire world is making fun of her sister's weight gain.

"I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News. (Are you new? That's how things work around here)
All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard. (really?)
Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? (probably, and I hope they would do the same for me)
I seriously doubt it. (Bitch! You don't know me!)
How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure? (Uhmmm Size 2? Girl please...)
Now can we focus on the things that really matter.
-Ash"

I love this shit. We all saw the J Simp pictures, and they were all over the news. She's not the first one to be all over the news for weight gain. This is what people do. If we should be "focusing on the things that really matter" then why are you wasting your time defending her? Jessica Simpson has access millions of dollars, personal trainers, stylists, Ken Paves and of course Tony Romo's naughty bits- I do NOT feel bad for her.

We should have discussed this weeks ago

What exactly is going on with Nikki's sideburns??! I'll be honest, I didn't actually notice these elegant burns until Carrie pointed them out in the second episode. Now I'm fascinated! Wasn't she Miss Illinois or something? You would think that she would have done something about that shit. This show would not have been the same without her awkwardness and the burns.

Side note; I actually still have knots in my stomach from watching this last episode. There have been some great awkward moments thus far, but tonights episode was out of control. Hilarious.

Alright, this clip isn't from tonight. But I still enjoy it. She's a dream.

Uhmmm

Uhm... hmm. Maybe this was just a bad angle?

This is getting out of control...

(Thanks Lis!)

No good deed goes unpunished

This saying is SO true. I can't tell you how many times I've attempted to do something nice, and gotten screwed over for it. You know, like giving an old lady your seat on the train and then almost biffing it while being tossed around the car.

Good news: I gave blood yesterday and between that and giving a homeless man a dollar, I should be done with the good deeds until 2010.

Bad news: Went out last night. And I'm going to go ahead and blame it not on my poor decision making, but on the fact that my red blood cells were low.

Skinny.

I'm a giver...

So I read in the Red Eye that there is a shortage of blood in the Chicago Area. And they need all blood types but especially types O and A. I once gave blood in college, and I believe it was during Greek Week so that I could get our sorority points. See? Giver. Anyways, I was given a card with my blood type (O+) on it so that's the only reason that I even remember what blood type I am. What I'm getting to is that in the spirit of doing something somewhat beneficial to the community, I am going to donate blood tomorrow. I sent around an email to a few people just seeing if they would like to come with me. One response:

Tanq: "I mean cuz if I were A or O I would for sure do it. But being a vampire and all it'll be so hard to be around all that blood...but seriously I might do it so then I can get super wasted tomorrow night." If you couldn't tell, he's right in the middle of the Twilight series.

If anyone is interested in joining me, I'm going tomorrow at 12:30! You can go to Lifesource.org to register.

This is why I love Michael K

"There's a tightrope..."

I LOVE him. He writes Dlisted and when he isn't killing me laughing because he's dead inside, then I'm looking at his Myspace. Michael wants to canoodle him and I just want to be his best friend. Obsessed.

The tough life

You would almost think that this little mini had a really long, annoying day at work. But really he ran around and played catch for a while, maybe ate and pooped. Meanwhile, Carrie and I need our weekly wine to actually make it through the week. Really glad that tomorrow is Friday!

I've turned into...

...my mother. Yes, this is a Ziploc bag that I washed and will reuse. Why did I do this? I have no idea. It was barely used and I felt bad just throwing it out and single handedly ruining the environment. For as long as I can remember, Wendy has been known for reusing Ziploc bags and we make fun of her for it. And here I am...

I told you she was getting skinnier!

(Perez)

I like to post pictures of things that fat people/I would eat

Found this on Dlisted. Mmmmmmm I would be torn between putting mayo or mustard on it...probably both.

I hope they're wrong

HUGE Bachelor spoiler, but beware it totally ruined my Sunday. DO NOT CLICK HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHO WINS THE 13TH SEASON OF BACHELOR.

Articles that made me think

So I was reading a blog that lead me to another blog about "10 Articles That Changed My Life." I read all ten and they were really interesting. However, there were a couple that really stood out to me.

The first article was by Shaun Boyd titled "Irrational Entitlement: No matter where I’m working, I always feel like I’m being taken for granted, and that I deserve better." This article discusses the idea of irrational entitlement in the workforce. I definitely agree with the ideas this guy discusses. I remember when we went off the college is was basically the idea that once you graduated, you would be able to get that dream job. Or at least that's what I told myself. I guess its easier for people who knew exactly what they wanted to do with their life going into college. But for those of us who were graduating, and still weren't sure which direction to take- finding that dream job isn't that easy.

The second article was the commencement speech Steve Jobs gave at Stanford in 2005. I never knew much about Steve Jobs, and why people were so obsessed with him. After reading this speech, I have a much better idea of who he is. He definitely got the short end of the stick a few times, but look what he still managed to do with his life. I definitely have a lot more respect for him!

The last article is by Steve Pavlina titled "Don’t Die With Your Music Still In You." I really liked this article because its basically the way that I look at life. I want to see the world and do everything that I can before its too late. This is probably why I have a hard time seeing the purpose of working yourself to death at your typical, boring 9-5 job. I graduated from college and went to work at a resort in hopes of meeting new people, and getting to travel. One of the main reasons why I left the resort was because I wanted to get a "real job". Most of my friends (and most people) did the standard graduate from college, get a job, and then move to the city. So I felt left behind and definitely way more poor than most of my friends. Well here I am a year and a half later, with the inevitable feeling that I always get. The panicked feeling like there's so much to do and see out there, and I'm here...for now.

Things I wants for Bruise...

...but cannot afford. (Remember that whole "debt reduction" thing?)

How cute are these?? I really like the hat and there are more over at People Pets. I know this will be hard to believe, but Bruise already has a very nice down filled coat that the wears in the winter. And yes, it probably cost more than any coat I've bought for myself. However, it definitely came in handy yesterday when we were waiting for the stupid train in the freezing cold for a half hour. Long story short I almost froze to death and was beyond pissed off at the CTA. He has this little number below, but in black. Because you care.

Funny pictures

I know, I haven't been posting as much as I should. We are moving (at work) so I actually have to...work. Its EXHAUSTING. j/k. Sort of.

Here are some funny pictures in the meantime:

(Thanks Al and Andy!)

While on the subject of losing virginity...

This has been all over the news for a couple months now, but if you aren't aware this is Natalie Dylan. Natalie Dylan is 22 years old, and auctioning off her virginity to the highest bidder. To prove her virginity she has already undergone a polygraph test and is willing to do a physical exam. She is doing this through the Bunny Ranch in Nevada (you know, from the acclaimed HBO hit Cathouse). So far, over 10,000 men have placed bids and the bid is now up to $2.5 MILLION DOLLARS! She plans to pay for graduate school with her "earnings", if you will.

She's quoted as saying: "I think me and the person I do it with will both profit greatly from the deal. "It's shocking that men will pay so much for someone's virginity, which isn't even prized so highly anymore," she added.

Judge her if you will...I think she's brilliant! You laugh at her now, but when she's debt free living in a million dollar mansion with a butler named Chaps- you will not be so critical. How she got up to 2.5 million is beyond me, I mean she's not that cute. But whatevs...more power to her, I guess.

(Source)

Lester would NOT be amused...

Ha I love it. (Thanks Zack!)

Mmmmmmmm

Click HERE to find 5 delicious recipes for bacon desserts from Time! Bacon is taking over the world!

(Thanks Rich!)

These women are AWFUL

I hate EVERYONE! Oh wait, everyone hates me.

OMG Jason you're SOOO CUTE! I know everything about your life.

Stop tanning...for everyones sake.

I have only ever kissed one person...

The only one that I half enjoy

I do not approve

Well allegedly this one has been cast as Leah Clearwater for the new Twilight movie... I'm not sure if you remember her extreme show of talent on the epic film HSM, but ZEfron blew her out of the water. She will single-handedly ruin the movie with her tiny teeth.

Slumdog Millionaire

I have been wanting to see "Slumdog Millionaire" forever and I finally did yesterday. It was awesome, a really well put together film. I immediately downloaded the soundtrack as soon as I got home. Check out the trailer, you HAVE to see it!

Bruise loves the snow...sometimes

When he's not pretending to be paralyzed, he actually loves playing in the snow. And he looks hilarious.

A very interesting video

In reference to my last post... I learned in this video that 1 in 8 Americans married last year met online! Ha!
(Thanks Dad!)

A post where I actually talk about dating

Remember "dating" in college? Well in the metropolitan glam of Iowa City, Iowa dating was basically: meet a guy at a frat party... maybe you would run into him Tuesday at dollar wine night, or the next weekend at a bar crawl and suddenly you are dating. I'm not sure that I remember being asked out on an actual "out to dinner" date in college. Either way, those were the good old days. No real worries aside from maybe a midterm or two, 100% freedom, and everyone was always drunk.
Apparently I'm in the real world now.
I have been in the real world dating market for over a year now.

You know how there are five stages to grief?.. Well I think that there are five stages to dating.

1) When you first break up with someone, you want to get right back on the wagon. For various reasons, really. You're used to having a boyfriend so you want to transition right back into that. Or maybe you think it will distract you from feeling depressed or lonely. And perhaps in the back of your head, you think it might make him jealous and realize what he just lost.

2) The second stage is when you realize that its actually not that easy to meet people in the real world. Meet someone through a friend of a friend? Ok that works, but the older you get- the less single friends people have. At a bar? Alright that also can work, but how do you weed out the decent guys from the douche bags? And even then, how long does it take for you to fully trust someone who you can't really do your homework on. You know what I mean by this- when you date a friend of a friend you have the perk of getting their background information.

3) Stage three is maybe when you cave, and join a dating site. Ok don't judge... But I did join Match last year. I looked at it as just one more resource for meeting people. I wasn't "desperate" as some people still think online dating people are. But surfing through profiles did give me something to do with my day. Alas, I didn't find my Match as they advertise on the commercials...obvi.4) Stage 4 is when you've gone on too many dates and you're basically over it. In my case, that was like after two dates. Dating basically turns into no one having a real name, only nicknames.
Typical conversations throughout the year with Michael:

"What did you do this weekend? Did you go out with Bus Boy? (I met him on a bus). No? That kid with two first names as a name? (You know the type). Girthy lou? (Don't ask). Restraining order/gay face? (had multiple crazy ex girlfriends...never a good sign). The poker? (too long of a story). The one with "bacne"? (ha) The Irish guy? "CHAR CHAR CHAR" (Coworker, Ramon, thinks all Irish people laugh like CHAR CHAR CHAR). Keep in mind that most of these Michael came up with, not me.

5) Then finally you get to where I think I'm at today. Stage 5 is when you are finally at ease and/or don't really care anymore. You know what you're looking for in a guy, and what you're attracted to. But you also have come to the realization that you need to give people a chance. You get to a point where you're not looking for a "boyfriend" but someone who is worth spending time with.

I actually have a date tonight which brought this whole idea into my head.

All my single ladies, how much do you love dating?

Asians are hilarious!

(Thanks Al!)

Gym = disaster

So in hopes of maintaining my #3 resolution I headed to the wonderful Xsport gym. I assumed that it would be crowded...but this was OUT of control. As soon as I got into the locker room, I had to pounce on a poor girl to get her locker as she was leaving. I then headed into the clusterfuck that was my gym.
Here's what annoys me more than anything. I walk down a row of treadmills and see one open, (it was a New Year miracle)! I get on, put my towel down, plug in my headphones and start switching through the TV channels. I go to start the machine only to find out that its broken. Neither person on either side of me decided to give me a heads up at any point. And you know that there were others like me trying to get that machine to work. RUDE. I finally found some weird machine, got knows what muscles it was even working (I'm sure I'll feel it tomorrow). 20 minutes on that shit, and then I fled back to the safety of my apartment. Now I am now forced to go tomorrow morning to make up for my failure today.
Now in hopes of becoming slightly more optimistic, I will say that there were some decent looking pieces at the gym. And then there's me staring at them out of the corner of my eye, while trying to look REALLY busy drinking my water bottle.
I hope tomorrow morning is better!

I've seen too many movies lately

Movies I've seen lately and my snap judgements.
*LOVE Hayden Christensen. All I did was stare at him during the entire movie. Then focused on the fact that him and Rachel Bilson met and started dating on set. And then I was jealous.

*Everytime I tell someone that the next place on my list to visit is Thailand, they always say: "All I can think of when I hear about Thailand is that movie with Claire Danes...you know where they get stuck in that scary prison." So I finally watched this movie. When I go to Thailand, I'll just try not to smuggle drugs out of the country. Problem solved.

This was pretty funny. It was no "Old School" but I got a laugh or two out of it.

"When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur, I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world, I made my arms short and I roamed the back yard, I chased the neighborhood cats, I growled and I roared, everybody knew me and was afraid of me, and one day my dad said "Bobby you are 17, it’s time to throw childish things aside" and I said "OK Pop", but he didn't really say that he said that "Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job."

Ok I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it. But I will say that there is one scene with a hot piece that disappoints me. And I don't care what anyone (Michael) says, I hate Tilda Swinton. Every character I've seen her play, she's usually a CB. And she's not in the least bit attractive.

New favorite blog

In case you have a lot of time on your hands, you may want to check out this fantastic new blog from one of my favorites. I eagerly await her CD release so that me and Michael have something to sing together at work.
(Thanks Michael K)

I'm actually jealous of these two

Jealous. Apparently Lindsay Lohan and the ultra feminine Sam Ronson are planning to buy a place in Dubai. Through my extensive research, I'm finding that they are looking at places on the Palm Island development anywhere from 1.5 to 3 million dollars. I have two things to say about this. First of all, I am beyond jealous, I would LOVE to go to Dubai. Secondly, I was under the impression that land in Dubai was much more expensive than a couple mill. That's like pocket change, we should all buy land there! Lastly, Lilo is looking skinnier these days, no?

My new life purpose

This is what I want to do when I grow up! (Thanks Jay)

I know what I'm getting Ash for xmas next year!

Are people actually going to buy this?