Thursday, November 6, 2008

Facebook TMI

I. LOVE. FACEBOOK. It is hilarious. My favorite thing is seeing how much information people put up about themselves. I'm all for sharing WAY too much info, but it'll eventually bite you in the ass. Although, with the recent election I almost couldn't handle everyone's annoying status updates. Even if I could vote, but didn't want to- you telling me via Facebook status to vote wouldn't exactly motivate me to do it.

The real exciting updates is the "relationship status." God forbid you have a breakup, the entire world knows ASAP. And you can totally tell who changed their Facebook relationship status first. And then there are those people (my favorite) who give you their whole breakup story in their "about me" section. I LIVE for this stuff, not only do I now know that you broke up, but I get the details as well. I guess the story gets to a wider audience so you don't have to re tell the story a million times, but then random people like me get all the gory deets.
However, my big pet peeve about Facebook are those stupid applications. Michael (because he's elderly and has no life) is usually sending me something about keeping the environment green. I will not add those to my profile, they make my immaculate and witty profile look cheap. And I'm not the only one who hates them. There are multiple groups dedicated to hating these applications.
There is a Facebook group titled "No, I'm not going to accept your Application invitation. Fuck you." They have a list of reasons why not to accept application invites which I find thoroughly amusing!
1. No, retard, your "Save Darfur" cause isn't going to do SHIT for that country. Grow up.
2. Bitch, I don't want to know what movies you want to see, I still haven't seen The Departed.
3. Fortune,ya...i'm s000 hxc azn.
4. Why the HELL would I want the option for someone to "Spank" me? Like...why?
5. Again, I really don't care what music you like, I already read that in your profile, fuckin' emo.
6. While we're on the subject, why do I want to see which applications ppl uploaded in Newsfeed?!
7. Traxor? Are you kidding me? Like I want ppl to know I've seen their profile, much less the creepers that look at mine 10x a day? Ignorance is bliss.
8. Yes, that's EXACTLY what I want: a Top Friends application. I liked MySpace so much that I wanted to make my facebook exactly the same. Imma change my profile pic to Tom.
9. Food Fight? Spend your daily lunch money to throw food at ur friends? This is like Warcraft for 3 year olds. It's honestly sad, it isn't funny.
10. (fluff)Friends. Seriously. If you really have a Tamagotchi on your fucking facebook, you need to go out and meet people.
11. Last time I checked, I WASN'T bitten by a vampire OR a werewolf OR a zombie. So stop lying to me.
12. Honestly pirates are awesome, but your facebook doesn't make you a pirate, quit being a douche.
13. Greek Family Tree. Because frats and sororities weren't annoying enough, now they invade my happy little facebook world.
14. Poo Fight. Enough said.
15. Are You Normal? Um...are you serious?
16. Date of Death Calculator. Lemme guess, if I don't join some little girl with no eyes will come kill me in my sleep. Well, I got somethin' for her ass...
17. Reputation. Here's a hint: YOU'RE A LOSER!
18. My Music: Fucker, it's called "my" as in YOUR music for a reason. Let's keep it that way.
19. Perfect Match: My perfect match is a chick who swallows and doesn't talk. I don't need this application, thanks.
20. What Color Are You? I'm white, bitch, thanks. Although from time to time I feel very black. Tell me something I don't know.
21. What City Should You Live In? Whatever the capital of Antarctica is, THAT'S where you should go.
22. Sneakers. They aren't even REAL, get a job or something dumbass.
23. How Old Are You? i don't know about you but i dont need a facebook application to tell me how the fuck old i am
24. What Type of Person Do You Attract?: Creepy gay dudes on MySpace that try and convince me that getting dome from a dude is "so much better than a chick", thanks for reminding me.

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